Poor Imp

Sean -- Thanks very much for the glance-over. Always pleasant just to know someone's reading. As to some of the sentences, I see the point about fragments. But the other[s]? ...

Oy vey.

Niteowl -- Pardon me for having forgotten to thank you. I'm rather fond of the wording; but I'll take into account its obscurity as well. ^_~ Gambler -- Thanks, on ...

Hey Algi. Poetry, fantasy or otherwise, goes in the poetry forum. Moved to Other Poetry IMP

Moved to Poetry

Ah, well, you're not too likely to get comments when it's not in the Literary Forums, I'm afraid. So... Moved to Fantasy Fiction .

Ha, Dono et al were in rare good form, weren't they? And Brad...that was a creepy Brad, Grif.

Leaving? #_# Ach, say it isn't so, my dear Myth. Well, if so, I'd be glad to email you a critique, if you'd still like it. I hate to think ...

Thanks. Honestly the tense changes are just something I suck at. I change things when I edit and forget to change all of it to fit the latest decision. Chaos. ...

Myth: Thanks very much just for the read -- the usefully Mythic comments are, of course, a plus. ^_~ It actually breaks off rather at the crisis, as, being dead-tired, ...

Ok it was rubbish. Because it doesn't really talk about how the character looks like except in speech, which is confusing because the speech is someone's opinion like they might ...

Moved to Other Fiction

Thanks almost inexpressibly, Sam. ^_~ All points good, and to be considered - just questions on a free-write are good; but you've gone deeper even than that. ^_^ ATMOSPHERE: I ...

I enjoyed this, I liked the sort of ambling pace. I made me think of Neil Gaiman's American Gods, the patter and feeling of the writing. the first paragraph drew ...

The monologues were engaging and amusing to be sure. I was rather confused by the end. How is he reigning? The whole time it seemed as though he were somehow ...